THIS IS JUST MY STORY. I FEEL FOR EVERYBODY THAT IS MADE TO SUFFER LIKE I DID.

I dont where and how to start. It
feels like my heart is going to burst. Wish i had never loved anyone so much.
How can someone that meant world to you just leave you hurt. I am going crazy.
Its f***ing killing me. I am losing my sleep my hunger and everything. Wish she
knew what she meant to me. Anyway this bitch just left me in the middle of no
where in the middle of a ocean and i have very few chances of reaching the
shore. What the f*** am i supposed to do. You know what i am strong. I will
reach the shore hoping some stranger will come and resuce me. Not a single drop
of tears droped from my eyes when she said she was not in love with me anymore
and she has found someone else who loves her more than i did and even makes her
feel more special. Still i feel like there is a sea is infront of me. Dont know
it is from my tears or water. Hell no it aint my tears. Well maybe those are
tears from my heart that i never saw coming. I am optically disillusioned
,brainly washed, emotionally killed. Wish i could have used her as she did to
me. I am not a toilet paper use it and flush it, may be i am. Didnt she just
flushed me. I just might be a toilet paper made with human feelings. Man i
could never do that to her. Maybe i should have done that to her before she did
it to me. What the hell am i thinking, how can i even imagine that i should
have done that. It doesnt make any sense. I loved her,.. I know she loved me
too. How can someone change their heart so fast. It not like she is a
prostitute i paid money for few hugs and kisses and sex and banged her for
15-20 minutes and ask her to tell me how much she loved me and what i meant to
her. And after finishing it all, the world is same, she doesnt recognize me and
i dont either. I loved this girl more than anything else. Maybe not that what
she told me. She told me not to call her and keep bugging her. Why would i do
something that she doesnot like. I would never do that to her. I just checked
in to see how she was doing and how is her new life clicking. She says me she
was never in love with me. Looks like she has developed a forgetting habbit
along with her new found love. I was not the first one to say how much i loved
her. She was the one. She did. That bloody bitch did. I was not the one who
bunked all my classes for my lover, she did. I was not the first one to be
upset if she didnt found a time to meet me. She was the one. I always wondered
what was that she liked in me. I am not super handsome, i was a average guy who
was never in love before. She made be feel so special. She used to tell me how
i used to come in her dream everyday.Was that all bullshit or was that for
real. She even told me how she went to a temple asked with god to make us happy
and together for thousand more life to come. I beleive in her so much that i
was falling for her. I thought she was the reason i never was in love with
another girl. I feel like a f***ing joke now. I aint giving up that easy,
because i know i deserve better than that bitch. Its not like that there is no
other girl who would like to share her love with me.          

 P.S. POSITIVE COMMENTS ALWAYS WELCOME, NEGATIVE COMMENTS NOT NEEDED NOW...

Negative comments not welcome? Well you are already Negative towards her saying "BI**H".  Remember, she is a human being like you are. She has a feeling, too. 

my take on your situation is that your ship has sailed and just wait for another one...what ever u are goign through is another name of LIFE and everyone goes through...so insted of namecalling...wait for another ship and get over it...someday ull look back and laugh why you were soo much deep into this

ya my fren,  i can understand your situation..but you got to understand that this is not the end of the world, there is always a way...so you better move ahead in your life and dont look back to all those shit....she made her choice so let she be happy in her life bro, i think to say her goodbye would be your better choice....

Man!!! Yes You Do Deserve Better. Time Will Heal as well Answer to You.

Oranje, it is better now than sorry later. you should be happy that she didn't dump at the end of the tunnel. now go find someone who will love you unconditionally. life is all about choices and may be she didn't find you compatible in a long run and made a choice.  maybe when you find somebody, you'll never feel about her again like you felt about her when you were in love with you.

so have a positive attitude and start looking for somebody else. you'll be alright when you encounter someone. and don't make any stupid and irrational move meanwhile.

welcome to the world.

i dont think u love her ?????may be u r wrong....HOW CAN U TELL THE WORD B**** TO THE GAL WHOM U LOVE SO MUCH ??? MAY BE SHE DID RIGHT .

Hey oranje,

I feel you man. It can be tough when one is slapped back into reality. I'm sure there were countless situations where you poured your heart out to her, offering her the world, and everything in it, even the ultimate sacrifice of yourself.

But its a hard knock life, sometimes the one you offer your heart to just has no idea how much you really mean it. Sometimes, she wont realize just how deeply you feel about her. Don't you worry friend. Everything happens for the best of reasons. Believe in that, and you will ultimately find peace.

Now you are the wiser man, healing your wounded heart. Now you know how hot the fire is, and the next time you approach it, you will be able to master it. It's easy to say 'forget about it' when every action you do, every thought you think reminds you of her. But remember, you're the guy. Take pride in that fact. You're the strong one. You're the one destined to go through all this BS pain and suffering while she has the luxury of choosing her company.

My suggestion is live life a day at a time (and enjoy and appreciate it). Just dont mess up what you came to do, and you'll be good.

You can't force anyone to love you :).

La happy halloween, go to the bars, dress up as a toilet-paper zombie, toss back a couple of drinks, and say "Thank god I'm single" :)

Cheers.

sab123, I am with u brother.....Hoe can ?....How can ppl say those words, if u have loved someone so deeply?....His love was defanitely a conditional one...- I love u and in return u have to love me too--It is so hard to be happy all the time....But sometimes u have to find a way to be happy for others....let her go....may be u don't deserver her..or may be she is not worthy of u .....time will tell.....

As above said by someone-- it's just life..., a part of life, everyone goes through it--few goes many times while others go every now n then and remaining once a life.....Now, it depends how you handle this...believe me Time will handle everything. However, how long all on you..........

Some things in life are just beyound our understadings...and the harder you try....the harder u fall...so just find ways to be engaged in activities that u enjoye.....remember, one day when you are sitting back and relaxing and when u think about this - you will say what happen was for reason and u will say thank god it happen..............

Brother, She is smart, she knew all this stuff before hand what kind of person you are. I feel sorry for other woman who is going to be in your life, though.

haha we have to understant that its a coping mechanism for Orjane...I guess he is so bitter and hurt so may be calling her B@###@ is helping him in some way....but dude try to get over it asap ....the sooner the better....ya take above advice and celebrate halloween and drink it away.... 

Hey enough with you all, try to understand the sentiments of other.  Had you been through this situation you would know what it mean. Will be better if ya all back off and stop poking someone going through this situation. Sorry to hear this bro..

Look forward to your life ...its beautiful. There are 6.4 Billion animals in the world you might find one don't worry.

You are a looser. I know you are in the middle of the ocean but if you try to sail little you will fine a beautiful island next to you. If you start saying bad words towords your beautiful one, how can you say that you love her more then any thing else. If you are true lover you should prey for her better. You are cursing her.
I doubt you are a true lover. "Prem tyaag ho, badala ma kehi magdaina" but you are totally opposite. Please see your face in mirror and thik of yourself why in this world whom you loved the most left you and just sit and relax. Think of the moments that made your beautiful one to get away from you. There are so many hidden truths and try to find it so that you don't repeat the same story again later in life.

Please don't be personal. I only read 3-4 line of your writing and didn't like to read all.

Thats all I can say..... "Sabar karo ji sabar karo"

My $.02 suggestion for free.......

This not the end of life Oranje.  Well you may think that she left you at this point when you were this far. However, in my view you should think yourself lucky in the sense she didn't do this further down the road. Life not so smooth buddy. Not everybody gets what he/she wants or who he/she wants to be with. I can understand your feelings right now, but believe me once you think that this was your bad dream and move along, a time will come when you will laugh at yourself thinking once you remember this moment. Take this situation as a source of motivation and try doing better in  your life, which you might not have achieved when you were satisfied of having her. I think you understand what I'm implying. Good luck.
Sparty

Raju , Why you always think the world is always aganist you?....I always find you on the other side of things...May be u r right...But, belive me....no one is always right....This is what I feel, Correct me If I am wrong...

Oranje, drinking is not a bad idea...it's last friday of month...go get 750 ml JD or Crown Royal or JW-black (175 ml is too much) , sit down with some comforting foods and a nice movie ( movie like a walk to remember or Radio or Seabiscuits..let me know if u need more lists) and drink all you can. make sure U are alone and room is dark...After u think u had enough go to ur closet and cry and shout as hard as you can and as long as you can....make sure no one sees you or hear you ( very unpractical for grwon up man to cry infront of others)....grab ur blankets and pillow too and when u r tired, just sleep in the closet for night, wake up in the morning and go outside........U will see a lots of SUNSHINE....................

After u think u had enough go to ur closet and cry and shout as hard as you can and as long as you can....make sure no one sees you or hear you

I am sorry stupida... i am sure he has already done that.

Hurray!!! My first day on Sajha. Thank you for the warm welcome guys.

Few questions Orange.

Did you tell her how much you love her and what she means? Except the day you guys were splitting.

Did you take her as granted?

Did you guys sat down and shared your plans at least once in a week?

Did you support her(Not financially), encouraged her on any of her task? .

Remember these and your love will always be happy. And for your gone love only advise I could give is “Let her go” instead be nice and keep her wondering.

Please be nice, some of the words you have written are really disturbing.

 

 

Oranje bro... i can feel you... it fuc*ing hurts a lot.... but this is life bro....One of the hardest things you'll ever have to do is stop loving someone because she has stopped loving you......

time heals everything bro.... why you worry about the girl who never loved you...

 

Oranje,
I find your story very similiar to mine, except that its been 2 years since she left me and I still love her. We had a two year relationship, it was my first time too and then she broke up with me. I am saying this just to let you know that I have been there, and I am sure a lot of people have been in same misery.

about calling someone Bitch, I dont think thts a issue. When people break up they have to call each other bitch/dick, etc etc just help ease the pain.

about crying, I dont think crying in public is an issue, i have cried to a lake, river, empty and full classroom, an office (wiped my tears when someone comes in).

I tried drinking, I was almost an alcholic. had cut myself at multiple occasions. and even considered suicide.
and after all that I realized that if I truly loved her (like I thought) I should only want her to be happy. If I cant see her happy then I didnt love her in the first place.
At least thats how I feel, you can never un-love someone. not being with someone you love is a pain like no other, but trust me it will ease with time.

my suggestion to you: be with friends, try doing different things to avoid having free time. work out (this one works both medically and psychologically) and last but not the least love yourself.

i somewhat agree with nightelf.  I was also in a relationship for long time.  i understand how it feels to be loved and suddenly dumped for no reason.  I still could not find a good reason but i have moved on.  Its been couple of years since we broke up.  so i understand it would not be easy for you to forget her.  however, we all have to move on and this is part of life.  this is also a good lesson and experience of a life.  you are prolly in first or second state of grief listed below.

1. Denial and Isolation.

2. Anger.

3. Bargaining.

4. Depression.

5. Acceptance.

For me, time was the greatest healer.  Now i dont cry or remember her as i used to do.  however, deep inside she will always be in my heart.  In my opinion, right thing is to do is concentrate in something else.  i used to work out to release anger and depression.  being with near ones or friends also helps.  watch sports or movies if you enjoy watching these things.  basically, try to do something rather than staying alone. 

further, rather than saying i deserve more or cursing her, you live your life and let her live her life. 

Life is a game "Either play or get played".